1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
I don’t even now what my favorite movie is anymore. I guess its Sweeney Todd. Like when it first came out i refused to watch it and just assumed i hated it, but then i watched it like last year and fell in love. Ugh.
2:Talk about your first kiss.
It was terrible. It was at my friend megans house and it was her boyfriend. He like pinned me down on her bed and kissed me. I didn’t like it.
3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.
Welp. She dumped me. I loved her with everything i had. I loved everything about her.. Her stupid smile and crooked teeth. Even her weird toe hairs… I don know. Now everything is over.
4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
Attempting to try again.
5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.
All of them have been pretty shitty. I never do anything for them.
6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.
ALL OF THEM.
7:Talk about your biggest insecurity.
I’m insecure about everything. My body. My hair, My art. Its a never ending list.
8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
Uh. Softball. I was good at that. I got a lot better and made it to first pitcher.. Best thing i have ever done.
9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
My eyes. They’re just really nice sometimes. And my freckles even though i don’t have very many. And my wrists and that little bone that comes out or whatever. I really like bones.
10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.
All of my big fights were with my ex whenever we aren’t dating. Like we fight about everything. Mostly because i am a giant asshole.
11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.
I never remember any of my dreams.
12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.
I had this dream where my grand parents died and i was at their house getting their things and they have these dogs, whenever they leave the house they sit and look out the window until they get home and in my dream they just sat there waiting and it broke my heart. i started crying in my sleep.
13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
I’m going to sound like a terrible person. But the first time i had sex was in a threesome with my best friend and her little guy thing. I didn’t like it. I’m pretty sure that was when i found out that i don’t like guys.
14:Talk about a vacation.
Most of my “vacations” are pretty boring. I don’t know, I don’t really do much.
15:Talk about the time you were most content in life.
I don’t know, i haven’t been in a while. There has always been something. But i was pretty content over the summer.. Everything was good. I was happy. Maybe one day i will have that again.. I feel like i will soon. Things are feeling better..
16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.
My friends sisters grad party, not the part with all the family though. The after. It was fun. It was probably the best night I’ve ever had. Everyone was drink/high. Nothing to think about. I had friends. After that night a lot of people didn’t like me and things got awkward, but the night was fun.
17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
My ex. I was so in love with her.. But she was the most important thing in my life.. But i have come to the fact that i don’t think the was ever “in love” with me. She just loved me. I really miss her actually. I can handle just being friends with her.. I miss having her to talk to.
18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
Since this has been pretty boring so far: In second crade we had this CCC lab thing. We went in there on the computers to do math and english shit. Well the teacher was really mean and would never let us leave the room and one day i had to pee really bad and she scared me so much i wouldn’t ask her to leave, i couldn’t hold it anymore. I peed myself in a room full of people. After that my teacher constantly asked if i needed to go to the bathroom.
19:Talk about something that happened in middle school.
Uh, i almost died? I had some problems or whatever. I took a lot of pills before i went to school. I overdosed and they had to take me to the hospital. My heart rate was so slow i almost went into cardiac arrest. I got expelled from school, put on probation, and had to go to therapy. A lot.
20:Talk about something that happened in high school.
I got my first girlfriend? Highschool was really boring other than that. We met in softball. Then bam. yep. Pretty boring.
21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
I don’t think i have ever had to turn someone down. Ive liked ever person that has ever tried anything.
22:Talk about your worst fear.
My worst fear used to be dying. I always hated thinking about it. I was scared about what happened after and if there was really something worth looking forward to when i die. But i don’t care any more. At least death won’t be as terrible as life. So now, I’m back to being terrified of spiders. I’m afraid one is going to bite me in my sleep and i’m going to wake up dying because i chose to fuck with the one asshole poisones spider around me.
23:Talk about a time someone turned you down.
I don’t think i have ever been turned down either. I am too shy and afraid of rejection that i never have even tried.
24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
That they never want to lose me. I’m sure that means a lot to everyone.. Everyone needs someone that is afraid to lose them..
25:Talk about an ex-best friend.
Her name is Kelsey. She was the one that got me into all the bad stuff. But she really was a good friend.. We hung out all the time and i really liked being around her. But due to circumstance, things had to change and we grew apart ( mostly because no one would let me be around her, but whatever)
26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick.
I do the same thing when I’m sick as when i am healthy: Sleep, tumblr, and more sleep.
27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.
I like the way peoples bodies move. When their muscles contract and the way they breathe. I love bodies in general. I can’t just pick one part. They are beautiful.
28:Talk about your fetishes.
I DONT HAVE ANY. IM REALLY BORING.
29:Talk about what turns you on.
Honestly, if you cuddle me for long enough ill be pretty turned on. Being close. Feeling the other person against you and feeling their breath. Kissing my neck. Rubbing my back. SPEAKING SPANISH. I won’t know what you’re saying so you could even insult me, but it always sounds so good. I just like to be close though…
30:Talk about what turns you off.
If you taste like olives i will be very upset. Having a penis. Saying weird dirty things to me.
31:Talk about what you think death is like.
Peaceful. I just imagine it must be peaceful. How can it not be. Everything around you can be chaotic. But when your heart starts to beat slower and everything is going out, and then finally when you’re out its done. Ultimate peace. i imagine it is wonderful.
32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
From my childhood. It wasn’t good. It was my dads parents house (i never lived with my parents and i was constantly moving around to random family members.) it was always so dirty. we never had things. They were mean. But i had my brother and sister. So that made things better. Eh.
33:Talk about what you do when you are sad.
I don’t want to tell you what i do when i’m sad. It’s not good.
34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.
I get these muscle spasms in my lower back because i have wimpy back muscles. And some times they’re so bad i can’t move and i just lay there and cry. I also have cramps sent right from satan. I cry for days. It is absolutely terrible.
35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
I want to quit hurting myself. I want to quit loving people that don’t deserve it. I want to stop being sad all the time. I want to quit seeing myself as this gross person thats worth nothing.
36:Talk about your guilty pleasures.
Guilt is for the weak.
37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
Theres this girl i know. She is the sweetest person i have ever met. We dated for about a month and a half. I loved her. I still do. How could i not. But i wasn’t “in love” with her, i really thought i was. They are two different things i learned.. It feels different when someone tells you they are in love with you. It’s like you’re completely engulfed by everything about them. I know she probably doesn’t think i loved her, that i was lying. But i really did. I fucked things up pretty bad with her. I am a giant asshole that deserves everything that is happening right now. I believe she was really my chance at happiness. The thing is, i was in love with someone else. You can’t be in love with more than one person at once. You can love anyone though. But my god she is beautiful. Her smile is the sweetest thing. Her eyes still manage to be beautiful even when she’s sad. She deserves the best, and i know it’s not me. I want her to be happy. And i am probably going to regret saying that if she reads it because i hate feelings. A lot.
38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
Lets not, i don’t even want to think about other people right now.
39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.
No mate how much you love someone, you can’t make them love you back. Shit fades. It fades fast when you’re the only one loving. Promises never stay. Some one is going to break it beyond any repair. You never get over your first love. When i am old and married i am still going to love the same stupid girl because she’s the first.
40:Talk about the end of something in your life.
You see, i have this problem with closing things. My life is a shit ton of open ended stories because i don’t have the balls to go back and end things.